This is not what I normally write about. Traveling, recipes and photos of my dog are things that I love. This, is a thing that I hated. But, it is a real thing, an authentic experience that I had and will continue to have for a long time and something that I’ve thought long and hard about sharing. You see, when I was in the thick of everything, I desperately wanted information. And not just the web MD type. I wanted to read other women’s stories. I wanted to know what to expect, if what I was experiencing was normal, what came ‘after’ for them. I wanted to feel a little less alone in what has to be one of the loneliest experiences there is. I scoured the internet and the stories I found either on old message boards or on blogs, were few and far between. So here is my story, my experience, this chapter that I hate in a life that I otherwise love. I wish that no other women would have to go through this, but the reality is that many will, and if it can help inform or prepare or even just help someone feel less alone, then I won’t regret sharing it. So here goes ❤
Today marks exactly one month. One month since I woke up excited to see our baby for the first time. One month since I drew a little heart next to ’11 weeks’ in my planner. One month since I sat on that exam table and found out there would be no baby. One month since I cried on Robert’s shoulder with my paper gown still on, saying “it’s ok, everything’s ok” and “how could this be” all in the same breath. It seems like a long time ago, but it’s only been one month.
I’ve learned a lot in one month. But first things first. First, I want to share my experience after the appointment, in all its gory detail. It was unpleasant to experience and will be unpleasant to read, so skip this part if you’ve no interest. The reason I want to share this in detail is because I got NO information from my doctor (I’ve since found a new one) and had no idea what to expect other than first hand accounts I found online. There weren’t many of them, so here is one more, hopefully it will help prepare someone or inform a choice.
Atastytrip 